I've been around a lot of people lately who are either single or in toxic relationships. As you probably know from my previous blog posts, I have been in my fair share of awful relationships as well as had my dose of living the single life. A few of my friends have asked me why I shot so many guys down but finally decided to be with my boyfriend now. I got to thinking, what is it about my current relationship that sets it apart from the others? What is it about this individual that finally allowed me to trust someone again and want to commit to a relationship? I don't want to sound like a hussy, but there were several men before this one whom I tried to feel those feelings for but I just... couldn't. Or didn't want to be bothered with any of it. Or didn't care enough to put forth any effort. So why him? Why this one? Why now? Well, since you asked so nicely, I'LL TELL YA.
Ladies (and gentleman) keep your sexy self single until you find a guy who does the following things:
Makes you laugh.
Ok, I'm not talking like "haha Jeff that was a good one." I'm talking, hysterically laughing from your belly until you have tears in your eyes. Like when he says something so bizarre that you can't help but look at him in disbelief and laugh like a little kid. If he can make you do this, keep him.
Calls when he says he will.
It's pretty simple guys... if he tells you he's going to call you when he leaves work and he actually does it, every single time, without fail - don't let him get away.
Does he dance with you all cute at concerts, hold your hand across the restaurant table, put his arm around you in front of his friends? He's a keeper.
Family is everything.
Find you a man who not only willingly goes to family functions with you, but actually enjoys them. Someone who chats up your father rather than sitting in the corner alone on his phone. Get you someone who your family tells you over and over how much they like him. Your family is the most important and accurate judge of character for your significant other.
Stands up for you.
To me, this is one of the most important things. If one of his friends or family members ever says or even hints at saying a negative thing about you, he better back you up and stand up for you. Otherwise, kick him to the curb. Boy, bye.
Acts silly with you.
If he can blast early 2000s pop punk with you and scream all of the words, marry his ass. SUGAR WE'RE GOIN DOWN SWINGINNNN
Shares some of your hobbies.
He needs to share some of your hobbies or at least be willing to partake in some of them with you to make you happy. If he is willing to not only accompany you to that Taylor Swift concert but also dress up in that lyric related outfit you strategically planned out for him, keep him forever.
Will WALK 500 MILES AND HE WOULD WALK 500 MOREEEE.
Listen, you need someone who is going to be there for you. If you're having a really awful night and you ask him to come over and he legit only lives 10 minutes away and isn't willing to come over, kick his ass to the curb. Because soon enough you'll find someone who is willing to drive over an hour to see you when you're sad at midnight, trust me.
He needs to make you confident that you are the only woman in his life. When you find the right one, you will know without a doubt that there is no one else. You won't feel the need to look in his phone, or question why he worked late. You'll just know.
Eases your anxieties.
When you tell him your crazy, irrational thought and he not only holds in his laughter but also talks you down off the ledge and helps you come back down to earth, he's a gem.
Relationships aren't always rainbows and butterflies (it's compromise that moves us alongggggg - whatup Maroon 5) - but if he can be honest with you about something that maybe isn't the easiest thing to tell you and might not make you the happiest clam, he's one in a million.
Brings out the best in you.
When you find the right one, you will literally count down the hours until you get to see them again because you feel like the best version of yourself when you're with them. If you're miserable or constantly on edge whenever you're with them, get rid of 'em girl.
When you meet the right person, it will be easy. None of that wondering if he likes you, chasing him around bullshit. He wouldn't even dream of walking away when things get a little hard. If you've put him through the ringer and he's still around, you better count your blessings and hang on tight to that one girlfriend.
The bottom line is this, when you meet the right one, all of the shit you went through will finally make sense. It was all to bring you to this moment, so you could fully appreciate this person. There will be no second guessing, no toxicity, no anxieties, only love and certainty. Remember your worth, and please don't settle for anything less than what you know you deserve. We only get one life, and it is so short. Be with someone who makes you want to be better every day. He's out there, I promise.