Monday, January 8, 2018

Disposable Dating

    Recently I have been giving a lot of thought to the concept of dating and why single people of all ages seem to have such a hard time finding the right one.  Back in the day, it seemed pretty simple.  If you met someone who was nice enough, attractive enough and you liked enough, you would date, fall in love and get married.  Signed, sealed, delivered.  Now I know it wasn't always that simple, but it was definitely less complex than that of today's dating world.
   Why is it that now, it is so easy for people to go on multiple dates with multiple people and not  want to settle down with any of them?  Why now is it the "norm" to go on dozens of dates until you find someone worthy of exclusively dating?  Is it that maybe we do not fully invest ourselves into a relationship with someone because due to apps like Tinder and Bumble we constantly feel like there is something better out there for us that is so easily accessible?  Apps like these give us the illusion of infinite options.  Before apps and sites like this existed, people jumped at the chance to settle down with the first suitable partner that came their way.  Now we hold out for some "perfect" partner that most likely doesn't even exist.  We have an addiction to swiping and searching to find the next best thing.  Is it possible that these new age dating options have made dating disposable and caused us to not put our entire effort into just one person? Is it possible that as a result of these dating platforms we have become desensitized to the dating process as a whole?  But once we are in this mindset, is it possible to revert back to a different way of thinking? 
    Online dating greatly increases our chances of scoring a date which, I believe, causes us to treat each other more disposably.  Think about it.  Say you go on a date with someone and you have a great time.  The date ends, you part ways and you are feeling really good about the evening that just took place.  In the following days you text here and there but it is taking some effort on your part to keep conversation going and to make any future plans.  Sadly enough, a lot of people would opt to swipe on and find something "easier" than put in the extra effort it may take to further explore what they already have. 
    Speaking from personal experience, I have definitely "disposed" of a person more easily than I might have if I didn't have other dating options so readily available at my fingertips.  I have also absolutely felt more disposable to others for this same reason.  In a day and age where dating is taken so casually and for granted, is it possible for someone to treat us like the rare gems we are and fight for us when they could easily find someone who doesn't make it so difficult? Is it possible to find the right one or even recognize when you have?  Here's to hoping.

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