Friday, May 26, 2017

How to be Single.

 


    As I sit here on my third (or fourth or fifth or maybe I just finished the entire bottle of rosé) glass of wine (but who's counting?!), I realized - It's a Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my couch, blasting country music, and have never been more content in my entire life.  There was a time, not that long ago actually, where I got instant anxiety at the thought alone of not having plans on a Friday or Saturday night.  Come Monday, I would frantically text my friends asking to make plans for the weekend.  The thought of staying home sounded sad and lonely and I avoided it like the plague.  Don't get me wrong, I love going out with my friends on the weekends.  But there's something extremely empowering about being able to stay in on a Friday/Saturday night by yourself and be OK in doing so.
    When you're in a relationship, it's as if every day, especially the weekend, is pre-planned out for you.  You aren't sure exactly what you'll be doing, but you do know who you'll be doing it with.  When you suddenly find yourself single, that can be a little bit challenging because you have to fill that void.  It can be difficult to go from always having a partner in crime to being your own best friend (that sounds depressing but I promise it's positive).  I know a LOT of people who come out of a relationship and instantly begin searching for a new one.  The first semi-attractive/compatible person who comes their way, they begin a new relationship with.  Hell, I'm guilty of this as well.  This is the first time that I've been single and I haven't been constantly looking for a new boyfriend.  I have been "browsing" my options and I have gone on dates, but I'm not putting all of my effort into finding the next Mr. Melanie.  
    Being single, I mean truly, really 100% single, is an art in itself.  It isn't easy, I won't lie, but if you commit yourself to it, it can be the most liberating, eye opening experience you will ever have.  What does being single really mean?  Being single means being OK with meeting your coupled up friends out for dinner and showing up solo.  Being single means not having anyone question where you are or who you are with.  Being single means not having anyone that you need to call when you get home. Being single means cooking dinner for one.  Being single means blasting your favorite song and not worrying about if anyone else likes it.  Being single means being able to commit to events without having to ask another person.  Being single means going out with the girls on a Saturday night and not feeling the need to rush home to anyone.
    As much as being single can suck sometimes, I don't think you can really be with someone new until you're fully, truly, 100% alone for a little while.  After all, how can you be happy with someone else if you aren't happy with yourself?  If you begin looking for a new person immediately and get into another serious relationship within, like, 3 months of your last one, did you really even have time to figure out who you are and what you really want?  This could just be my opinion but for me, having this time, about 8 months now, to be single, has been effing fantastic. For the first time in a very long time I feel like I finally know exactly who I am.  I know what I like, I know what I don't, I know what I stand for, I know what makes me tick, and most importantly, I know exactly what I am looking for in another person.
    So be single!  Stay in on a Friday night.  Take your sweet ass time.  Enjoy your own company.  Cook yourself an amazing meal.  Buy yourself the more expensive wine ($14 is expensive for me, OK!?!) .  Most importantly, don't put any pressure on yourself to find someone.  BE PICKY.  I cannot stress this enough.  Don't settle down with the first guy who shows you some attention. Remember:  You're a bad ass bitch with a killer bod and you smell like pine needles and have a face like sunshine - And don't ever let anyone tell you different.  CAN I GET AN AMEN.

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