Friday, May 26, 2017

How to be Single.


    As I sit here on my third (or fourth or fifth or maybe I just finished the entire bottle of rosé) glass of wine (but who's counting?!), I realized - It's a Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my couch, blasting country music, and have never been more content in my entire life.  There was a time, not that long ago actually, where I got instant anxiety at the thought alone of not having plans on a Friday or Saturday night.  Come Monday, I would frantically text my friends asking to make plans for the weekend.  The thought of staying home sounded sad and lonely and I avoided it like the plague.  Don't get me wrong, I love going out with my friends on the weekends.  But there's something extremely empowering about being able to stay in on a Friday/Saturday night by yourself and be OK in doing so.
    When you're in a relationship, it's as if every day, especially the weekend, is pre-planned out for you.  You aren't sure exactly what you'll be doing, but you do know who you'll be doing it with.  When you suddenly find yourself single, that can be a little bit challenging because you have to fill that void.  It can be difficult to go from always having a partner in crime to being your own best friend (that sounds depressing but I promise it's positive).  I know a LOT of people who come out of a relationship and instantly begin searching for a new one.  The first semi-attractive/compatible person who comes their way, they begin a new relationship with.  Hell, I'm guilty of this as well.  This is the first time that I've been single and I haven't been constantly looking for a new boyfriend.  I have been "browsing" my options and I have gone on dates, but I'm not putting all of my effort into finding the next Mr. Melanie.  
    Being single, I mean truly, really 100% single, is an art in itself.  It isn't easy, I won't lie, but if you commit yourself to it, it can be the most liberating, eye opening experience you will ever have.  What does being single really mean?  Being single means being OK with meeting your coupled up friends out for dinner and showing up solo.  Being single means not having anyone question where you are or who you are with.  Being single means not having anyone that you need to call when you get home. Being single means cooking dinner for one.  Being single means blasting your favorite song and not worrying about if anyone else likes it.  Being single means being able to commit to events without having to ask another person.  Being single means going out with the girls on a Saturday night and not feeling the need to rush home to anyone.
    As much as being single can suck sometimes, I don't think you can really be with someone new until you're fully, truly, 100% alone for a little while.  After all, how can you be happy with someone else if you aren't happy with yourself?  If you begin looking for a new person immediately and get into another serious relationship within, like, 3 months of your last one, did you really even have time to figure out who you are and what you really want?  This could just be my opinion but for me, having this time, about 8 months now, to be single, has been effing fantastic. For the first time in a very long time I feel like I finally know exactly who I am.  I know what I like, I know what I don't, I know what I stand for, I know what makes me tick, and most importantly, I know exactly what I am looking for in another person.
    So be single!  Stay in on a Friday night.  Take your sweet ass time.  Enjoy your own company.  Cook yourself an amazing meal.  Buy yourself the more expensive wine ($14 is expensive for me, OK!?!) .  Most importantly, don't put any pressure on yourself to find someone.  BE PICKY.  I cannot stress this enough.  Don't settle down with the first guy who shows you some attention. Remember:  You're a bad ass bitch with a killer bod and you smell like pine needles and have a face like sunshine - And don't ever let anyone tell you different.  CAN I GET AN AMEN.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

The Chameleon Effect

  What uppppp party peopleeeeee!  Ok ok sorry... I'm just a LITTLE excited.  Why?  Because it's been like over a month since I've written and I'm finally back! Where have I been, you might ask?  Well I haven't written in a while for a few reasons.  One of which being that things have just been going really really well for me and I've been so busy with life that I haven't had the time (or anything to complain about) :).  I also have had some ideas floating around in my brain to write about, but nothing that I felt passionate enough about to put on the internet and I didn't want to force anything just for the sake of making a post.  So, here we are!  But I'm back and I'm READY to PARRRRTAYYYYYYYY

  So, my little petunias, we are gathered here today to discuss The Chameleon Effect.  Yes, that's right, I said CHAMELEON.  What is the Chameleon effect, you might ask?  Well I'm pretty sure there's some scientific meaning behind it but for the sake of today's post, it refers to someone who takes on the traits/characteristics/hobbies etc of someone they have been spending time with.  In this case, I'm referring to guys or girls who start dating someone and become exactly like them.  
  We all know these types of people so don't act like you don't.  Hell, chances are you've probably dated one... I know I have.  A few, actually. Honestly, we're probably all a little bit guilty of being chameleons ourselves at one point.  But why?
  It's so crazy to me how sometimes when you date someone, you lose your individuality a little bit.  You kind of forget who you were before them.  Your life revolves around them and things that you like to do together, so the things you once enjoyed on your own are soon a distant memory.  On the other side of it, it can be extremely annoying when you date a chameleon. I dated one once, and suddenly all the music I liked, all the activities and movies I loved were his "favorite".  I drew the line when he started becoming obsessed with Taylor Swift.  SHE'S MINE, OK?!
  It's also extremely interesting to see such things from an outside perspective.  When someone you know begins dating someone new and you notice that they start dressing differently, acting differently and becoming interested in different things. It's wild to see someone go from dating you and being into running and country music and wine to dating someone new and suddenly doing Crossfit and going on tropical vacations. It's almost like you don't really ever know who someone is because they could just be a combination product of all of the people they have ever dated or been friends with.   Whoaaaa that's deep stuff bro.  Anyway, the moral of the story is just be yourselves kids!  Don't start dressing like a ghetto fab princess just because you start dating a papi chulo, know what I'm sayin'?  Yea? Ok, great.  Now get back out there and keep doing you babes.  Rock on with your bad self.