Saturday, March 4, 2017
First Impression Friday - The One With the Crier
First Impression Friday is a bi-weekly (or whenever I feel like it) blog series in which I tell comical stories about ridiculous first encounters I've had with members of the opposite sex. This will alternate with Red Flag Friday whenever I see fit (or Saturday - like today.. whatever.) How have I not blogged in a month?! Things have been so crazy with moving and just life. But I promise I'll be better, Girl Scouts Honor.
The story starts like this: A few months ago I was at a bar trying to have a leisurely evening out with one of my best friends. We ended up in the middle of a sweaty dance party which is totally not my scene but... when in Rome (or The Whiskey Republic). I decided to leave the dance mosh pit and make my way to the bar for an adult beverage. As I was trying to push through, a guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked where I was attempting to navigate to. I told him the bar and he literally pulled a Moses and parted the Red Sea of people for me, making a path to the bar. Not going to lie, it was super flattering and it made me feel like a princess. I thought that was the end of him but boy was I wrong.
Later on that evening, my friend abandoned me on the dance floor to go to the bar. A few minutes after I was alone, Moses returned and introduced himself. He began drunk rambling on and on about his life and his friends and how society is crazy. You see, I have this problem where I am way too nice and I don't know how to walk away from people and don't know how to say no or be mean. Anyway, he must have gone on and on for at least 20 minutes. (Please keep in mind that this was all in the center of the dance floor with people bumping into us and grinding on each other.) He dragged on and on about how I will never meet anyone else like him and how much money he makes (gag). At one point, he was telling me about his friends and how they're into hard drugs. As he was telling me about this, I noticed that his eyes began to get really glossy. For a minute, I just assumed he was glazed over with drunkenness. But the more I looked at him, the more I realized it wasn't that at all... The more I looked at him, I thought "Oh no.. He's not.. Tell me he's not going to..". Yes, ladies and gents, the boy on the dance floor started crying, right there before my eyes. As tears streamed down his face, I couldn't think of anything else to do besides awkwardly and stiffly pat his shoulder like "there, there". It was most definitely the most uncomfortable situation I have ever been in. The only thing more uncomfortable than watching a man cry is watching a man who is a stranger cry.
After what felt like an eternity, my friend finally returned. I gave her the ole nose-brush-get-me-out-of-here motion and she pulled me away, thank god.