Saturday, January 28, 2017

First Impression Friday - The One With the LARPer


  First Impression Friday is a bi-weekly (or whenever I feel like it)  blog series in which I tell comical stories about ridiculous first encounters I've had with members of the opposite sex.  This will alternate with Red Flag Friday whenever I see fit.

  The story starts like this:  A few weeks ago I was enjoying a leisurely drink at a bar with my mother, aunt and cousins. We were heading to a movie and decided to have a cocktail beforehand.  We had our giggle juice, left the bar and began walking over to the movie theater.  As we were leaving, a girl chased us out of the bar.  She came up to me and said something along the lines of "Excuse me, sorry to bother you.."  (At this point I was 99% sure I was being hit on my a woman - not that there's anything wrong with that.... but anyway)  "My friend in there thinks you're really cute but was too nervous to talk to you.  Can I have your name so he can find you on Facebook?"  - Yes ladies and gents we now live in a world where instead of asking someone for their number, you ask for their Facebook.  At this point, I was a little wary considering  I had 0 idea what the guy even looked like.  But I decided to play along, I mean what do I have to lose right? RIGHT?! So I wrote down my name and went on my merry way to the movie.
  Later that evening, I received a friend request.  All I was able to see was a profile picture.  He wasn't awful looking, looked a little nerdy but I wasn't ruling it out. So I did what I do best and I began creeping.  Upon my investigation I found the Facebook page of his (hopefully ex) wife.  I began scrolling through photos and it quickly became clear that my admirer was... indeed... a LARPer.  What is LARP you might ask?  According to Urban Dictionary (a very credible source) it is - 

LARP - Live Action Role Play - a type of game where a group of people wear costumes representing a character they create to participate in an agreed fantasy world. Uses foam sticks as swords, foam balls as magic and other props to create the games world. 

  Pretty cool, right?  Now I'm not judging (OK maybe I am a little bit) but that's just not the kind of thing I'm into.  I'm talking there were photos of him in full on Medieval garb .  Another one of him in full make-up looking like a character out of  Avatar.  His wedding photo's were themed as some kind of elf fairy land prince and princess.  I probably sound like a huge asshole here, but that's my luck.  I get approached in public and it just HAS to be a LARPer.  I mean, I'm still extremely flattered that someone saw me and immediately wanted to make me part of their Royal Court.  But long story short, I denied the friend request and received multiple messages.  When I explained to the LARPer that I had recently gotten out of a long relationship and wasn't looking for anything, he asked me to go out to a "non-committal dinner" - WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.

I'm doomed.

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