Saturday, December 31, 2016

16 Things I Learned in 2016



1. Always trust your gut - You know that little voice in the back of your head telling you that something doesn't seem right?  Well, from my personal experience, it's almost always right.  Even if whatever it is seems like a ridiculous thought, trust your intuition. That girl you have a weird feeling about and think your boyfriend may be secretly talking to? He probably is. It'll come out eventually. And when you realize your gut feeling was right all along, so many other things will start to make sense to you.

2. Words and Actions Are Two Very Different Things - You will meet many people in your life who say all of the right words at the exact right moments.  And in that moment, those words can make you feel so, SO good.  But the truth is, those words are meaningless if there are no actions to back them up.

3. If someone wants to be with you, they will - Stop making excuses in your head of why he hasn't called you or why he breaks your heart over and over.  Ever seen the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" ? Yeah, that.  If he wanted to be with you, he would make it very clear and do just that - be with you.  No ifs, ands or buts.

4. Anyone who makes you feel insecure isn't worth it - If you ever have to second guess yourself or your worth around another person, whether it's a friend or a significant other, it's not worth it.  You should be around people who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself, nothing less.

5. People are going to put you down no matter what - You could be the pope or the president, doesn't matter - people will always have something negative to say.  Just keep doing you.  Don't allow the negative opinions of other people deter you from doing something you enjoy.

6. Meet new people - Recently I have been meeting so many new people and trying new things.  It really opens your eyes to the world around you and makes your problems feel so small.

7. Love Yourself - Yasss girl.  You only get one life and whether you like it or not, you're stuck with yourself.  Everyone is amazing in their own beautiful, weird ways.  Don't be so hard on yourself!  Focus on all of the things you like about yourself and LOVE YOURSELF.

8. Take Risks - I used to always be the girl who said no to doing things I wasn't familiar with.  I had a lot of anxiety and got nervous really easily.  First dates, new activities, etc.  SAY YES MORE.

9. Stop making excuses for others - This kind of goes a long with #3. Stop making excuses for your shitty boyfriend or your flaky "best" friend.  There are no excuses for being an overall bad person.  It's not because work is stressing him out or because she was drunk.  They just suck - plain and simple.

10. Embrace your weirdness - Don't hold back. If you want to say something silly, don't bite your tongue because you're afraid of sounding stupid.  If you want to sing in the car at the top of your lungs to that annoying Justin Bieber song or dance in the middle of the makeup aisle at Target for absolutely no reason at all, do it.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, let your freak flag fly.

11. Quality vs Quantity - This is true for so many things - specifically friends.  Over the years I have learned to weed out anyone in my life who doesn't add positivity.  It hasn't been easy, but I'd much rather have a few good friends who better my life than 20 "friends" who emotionally drain me.

12. Don't settle - Life is SO short.  If you have the slightest feeling that the person you're with, or the job you have, or the apartment you live in, or whatever it is - isn't good enough for you, don't ignore that.  If you think you can do better, then DO better.  You deserve it.  Don't settle due to fear of the unknown.

13. Positive mind, positive life - Recently I've been reading a lot about the "Laws of Attraction".  This is the basic idea that if you focus on positive thoughts, you will bring positive experiences into your life.  And if you focus on the negative, you'll attract negative experiences.  Lately I've been keeping such a positive mind and outlook on things and I can honestly say it works!

14. It's OK to not be OK - Things aren't always going to go your way.  It's OK to cry.  It's OK to take a moment to yourself and feel sad or just momentarily crumble.  You don't need to put on a front and try to convince others and yourself that you're fine.  You're allowed to have your weak moments.  As long as it doesn't last too long and then you flip your hair, apply your lipstick and move on.

15. You're not alone - Whatever it is you're going through, there are so many people that are currently going through or have gone through the same exact thing.  Talk to people about how you feel - you'll learn that so many others have experienced the same situation and feelings.  Simply knowing you're not alone makes you feel so much better.

16. Everything Happens for a Reason - Hence the premise of this blog.  I truly believe that everything in our lives, no matter how awful and devastating at the time, happens for some type of reason.  Whether it's to teach us a lesson or lead us to something better.  There's a reason behind it all.  You may not see it now, but in time you'll look back on whatever it is and think, "Oh yeah, that had to happen to me because if it hadn't then blah blah blah blah", you get it.

There you have it.  16 things I learned in 2016.  This year wasn't the easiest for me but I'm going to chalk it up as one of the best years of my life.  I learned SO much about myself and about other people and I truly think it made me into a much better person.  Onward and upward to 2017!

Friday, December 30, 2016

RED FLAG FRIDAY - CHAPTER 4 - Look, you're a fungi, but...

  



  Red Flag Friday is a weekly blog series in which I tell ridiculous relationship stories I've gathered from my own life and the lives of my friends and family.  Every Friday I will share a crazy story that should have, at the time, been a red flag.  For the sake of saving many people a great deal of embarrassment, the stars of these stories will be kept anonymous.

  Please forgive the awful pun in the title.  But given the story I'm about to tell and my deep love for all things punny, I couldn't resist. Looking back on 99% of these stories, specifically the ones that happened to me personally, I don't blame you if you judge me.  No, seriously... because re-visiting the ridiculous things I have put up with in the past, I'm judging myself.  So, without further adieu, here we go kids... Hang onto your diapies, babies.. cause this one's a doozy. 
  Many years ago, OK so really like only 5, a young girl found herself fresh out of college and immediately hired at a full time office job.  She was very proud of herself for getting hired in her field so soon after graduating and earning herself a steady paycheck.  At the time, she had a boyfriend of a few years.  He was 2 years younger than her, which is really like a 4 year difference in boy years.  They had met when she was younger and still in her "party" phase of life.  However, I should mention that this girl did not participate in any drugs whatsoever, just had a deep love for vodka/crans.  As she matured, it slowly became clear to her that he wasn't exactly keeping up with her pace.  But she didn't realize the full impact of that difference until a few years down the road.
  At the time that the red flag occurred, the boyfriend was living in a frat house at a nearby college with several other boys who weren't necessarily the best influences on him.  On one particular day, the girl received a text from the boy saying that he really needed to talk to her and asked if he could call her on her office phone.  Obviously worried that something was wrong, the girl immediately called him from her desk.  Frantic, she got a hold of him and asked what was up.  The exact words exchanged escape me, but they went something like this:  "Hey babe.. I was just calling to let you know that I'm going to do Mushrooms today."  .............................................. And no, I'm not joking.  Her response was something to the effect of "Are you f*cking kidding me right now?!". She went on to tell him that if he spent the day taking psychedelic drugs with his boyfriends while she worked at her full time office job, she was going to break up with him.  He was taken aback by this, and thought he was boyfriend of the year for informing her of his plan before going through with it.  Long story short, he did the mushrooms, she didn't speak to him for 2 days, and they continued to date for a few years after that.
  RIDICULOUS, I know.  It took me, er.. I mean, HER, a very long time to realize what she deserved and the type of man she wanted to be with.  It took some time to recognize that they were on very different levels and wanted different things out of life.  Oh and in case you're wondering, he still leads a very similar life now that he did then.  ::eye roll::

SHOULD'VE BEEN A RED FLAG... 

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Why being single for the holidays is actually the freakin' best.



   As I sit here in an excellent mood, drinking my cab sauvignon, blaring Brett Eldredge's new Christmas album (which is excellent - BTW) after starting and finishing all of my wrapping, I began to wonder - what is so different about this year and why am I so stress-free?  Typically around this time of year I am an anxious wreck worrying about gifts and being in a million places at once on Christmas.  So why this year am I the jolliest asshole this side of the nuthouse?  And then it dawned on me.  It's because this year is the very first year that I am single for the holidays in 8 whole years! What the whattttttttttttttt.  Yup, it's true.  I did the math.  For the past 8 Thanksgivings, Christmases and New Years I have had a boyfriend.  Crazy, right?  I thought being alone during the holidays would suck but it turns out - it's actually fantastic.  Here's why.

Merry Christmas to Me!
I don't know about you but I think picking out presents for significant others is STRESSFUL.  I mean don't get me wrong, I'm excellent at it, but having to worry if they'll like what you got or if you bought enough for them really sucks.  Being single during the holidays means you get to be selfish.  All of that money you would typically spend on him or her, spend on yourself!  It will make you feel like a million bucks and be 1000 times more satisfying.  Trust me, I've got some new outfits and makeup to prove it.

No Party Hopping
99% of the stress of the holidays is because you have to run around from house to house in order to make all of the rounds and make everyone happy.  But when you're single, there's no need to run around like a Keebler elf all day because it's just you, baby!   You can stay at your family's house all day long and no one can say squat about it.  Oh and the best part is you can have as much sangria as you want and not worry about having to drive anywhere else.  It's a beautiful thing, really.

Tis the Season
You know all of the Christmas music you love but he/she always turns off on you?  Or the claymation movies that are everything to you but they refused to tolerate?  Or that cute gingerbread house you really want to attempt to make and then give up on halfway through?  Well now you can do ALL of that and there won't be anyone there to decline doing it with you or silently judge you while you do.

New Years Eve
Being single on New Years doesn't have to be as depressing as it sounds.  I saw this as a golden opportunity to make this NYE one for the books.  I purchased the sparkliest dress, gathered a few of my best single girlfriends and booked a hotel room.  This is probably the only New Years that we will all be single and in a position to do something like this so WHY NOT go big?!  We are going to dance our pants off and drink all of the champagne.  All of it.  Plus, come midnight, I can kiss anyone I want. Or not. WHATEVER I WANT. And when that clock hits 12:01, it's officially 2017 and the ridiculousness of 2016 is out the door.  And just like that, a new year will begin and with it comes a clean slate.

Happy Holidays, everyone!



Friday, December 16, 2016

RED FLAG FRIDAY - CHAPTER 3 - City Boy Problems.

  


  Red Flag Friday is a weekly blog series in which I tell ridiculous relationship stories I've gathered from my own life and the lives of my friends and family.  Every Friday I will share a crazy story that should have, at the time, been a red flag.  For the sake of saving many people a great deal of embarrassment, the stars of these stories will be kept anonymous.

This is the first time that Red Flag Friday is actually being posted on a Friday... and even with an hour to spare!  Baby steps, people! 

  Let's set the scene.  Once upon a time there was a girl who found herself dating a new guy.  She thought he was pretty amazing.. especially compared to the last D-bag, he literally treated her like gold.  So, this girl is very outdoorsy.  She loves anything outside - hiking, boating, fishing, fourwheeling, bonfires - you name it!  
  So this one particular weekend, the boy visited the girl in her hometown which also happens to be in the sticks.  The girl took the boy hiking with her and her dog.  First of all, the boy showed up in nice khaki PANTS (it was the middle of effing summer), a wife-beater (WTF?), and super new, very white, sneakers (eye roll).  It was immediately clear to her that the boy was not used to such activities. 
  As they were walking along, the boy complained that they kept walking into spider webs.  The girl ignored this, not thinking anything of it.  A little time passed, and the boy made a huge scene about these spider webs.  The girl jokingly said "What, do you want me to walk ahead of you so I hit them first?"  And the boy replied "Yes".  WOW.  So the girl spent the remaining 2 miles of the hike walking in front of the boy, with a stick in front of her, warding off any potential spider webs to protect the GROWN ASS MAN walking behind her.
  After this "date" the girl continued to date the boy for another few months and during that time, he continued to prove to her that he was just a city boy and he couldn't comply with her "country" lifestyle.  But boy, did he ever try.  


... SHOULD'VE BEEN A RED FLAG.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

I'mma let you finish, but...



  You know the types of people who see you doing something positive and take it upon themselves to try to bring you down?  Those that clearly don't have enough going on in their own life so they feel the need to judge yours?  The one's that just can't bear to see you happy and positive?  You know, the Kanye's of the world?  This blog post goes out to them.
  There are two types of people in this world.  Those that support you and lift you up and those that criticize you and bring you down.  As you get older, you learn that the latter of the two are not people you want to keep in your life.  As you mature, you learn to weed out anyone that doesn't bring positive vibes or make you feel good about yourself.  You realize that anyone who isn't rooting for you, isn't worth your time. This is called growing up.
  Then you have the people who don't even know you but think they can judge you and your life decisions.  The people that base an opinion of you off of "facts" gathered from others or things they see on social media.  Don't let them get to you - it's clear that they are unhappy in their own lives and they're just projecting that onto you.  Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality.
  When you do something in your life that you feel really good about, don't let any naysayers bring you down.  Don't let the opinions of other people make you second guess something.  Do whatever the hell you want.  Let your freak flag fly.  The opinions of 2 or 3 people are nothing compared to the rest of the world. Be a Taylor in a world full of Kanye's.  F the haters. Life is way too short to concern yourself with negative people.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine." - Taylor Swift

PS. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYTAY

Saturday, December 10, 2016

RED FLAG FRIDAY - CHAPTER 2 - Sushi with a fork.

  


  Red Flag Friday is a weekly blog series in which I tell ridiculous relationship stories I've gathered from my own life and the lives of my friends and family.  Every Friday I will share a crazy story that should have, at the time, been a red flag.  For the sake of saving many people a great deal of embarrassment, the stars of these stories will be kept anonymous.

  Once again, this is being posted on a Saturday because 1.I was out last night causing trouble with my long lost Boston bestie (hey girl!) and 2. I wouldn't be me if I was ever on time for anything.

  Let me set the scene for you.  Once upon a time there was girl who was propelled into the dating world after being in a relationship for 4 years.  She was nervous, excited and not really sure what to expect.  So she did what everyone these days does, she downloaded Tinder.  For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 4 years and don't know what Tinder is, It is a "dating" app in which you swipe left - which means "no" or right - which means "yes" based solely off of 6 photos and a short bio.  It's shallow, confidence-boosting, and if nothing else - extremely entertaining.  So she starts swiping... and swiping... and swiping... accumulating match after match.  It quickly became clear to her just how many people were out there in the world and it made the dating scene seem not so hopeless after all.  She went on a few dates here and there but no one really sparked her interest.
  Until one day she matched with this guy who seemed promising. He asked her out for sushi - and she was on cloud 9 because sushi is like, THE BEST.  So they went out to her favorite sushi restaurant (which is now closed due to bribery to obtain a liquor license - but we won't talk about that) and they had an excellent time - or so she thought.  One thing you must understand about this girl is that she is very sassy. And by that I mean, part of her personality is that she teases and jokes around a lot which apparently, not everyone can handle.. which leads us to how this story ends.
  After the date, the boy texted her and said he had a great time, she's a great girl but there's just one thing - He goes to therapy for the fear of being judged and well, her sassiness would probably set him back in all of his progress.  So he couldn't see her anymore... because .. SHE WAS TOO SASSY. Oh and the thing that really sent him over the edge was that she teased him for eating sushi with a fork and offered to teach him how to use chopsticks.  This offended him and made him feel insecure.  You can't make this stuff up folks.

... SHOULD'VE BEEN A RED FLAG.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

RED FLAG FRIDAY - CHAPTER 1

  Red Flag Friday is a weekly blog series in which I tell ridiculous relationship stories I've gathered from my own life and the lives of my friends and family.  Every Friday I will share a crazy story that should have, at the time, been a red flag.  For the sake of saving many people a great deal of embarrassment, the stars of these stories will be kept anonymous.

  Yes, I'm aware that the first chapter of Red Flag Friday is being posted on a Saturday but I was out last night and busy going to Hogwarts so cut me some slack, OK?!


  Picture this - You're 20 years old, it's 2 am and you're driving around the streets of RI with your sister and brother in law looking for your intoxicated boyfriend who made a scene at your family party and then fled.  TALK ABOUT A RED FLAG.
  At the very green age of 20, one can be extremely naive.  You want to believe that there is good in everyone, love conquers all and that your life is like a Katherine Heigl romcom.  You think you can fix everyone and that just because someone does bad things, over and over, it doesn't make them a bad person.  Something you learn as you get older is that some people don't want to change and some people cannot be fixed.  And SOME people, are just all in all, really shitty people.
  Once upon a time there was a girl who met a boy and fell "in love" (or so she thought at the time) with a very troubled boy.  This boy did many terrible things over and over but she forgave him, over and over.  One evening in particular, this boy accompanied her to a wedding of someone in her family. The boy and girl were both under the age of 21 at the time, so as much as they wanted to, they were not permitted to enjoy adult beverages at that wedding.  After the wedding, they were invited to a family members house to continue the celebration.  The boy, who clearly had 0 morals or respect for anyone or anything, took it upon himself to go against the wishes of the homeowner and steal and consume adult beverages.  After he had consumed some, and became slightly inebriated, he was caught in the act.  The owner of the home was obviously angry, and scolded him for what he had done.  In a fit of embarrassment, the boy fled the party and started walking the streets.
  Since the girl was such a loyal girlfriend, she stuck up for the boy (eye roll) and set out to find him.  She spent the rest of the evening driving around town searching high and low for the boy who embarrassed her and disrespected her family.  When she finally found him, she expected him to be grateful and relieved to see her.  She also expected an apology and some remorse for the way he had acted.  But instead, he laughed about the situation and brushed it off like it was no big deal.  The two went on to date for about another year, a year in which he repeated the same exact actions at another family party, but that's a story for another time. 

Should've been a red flag... 
  


Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I forgot how to flirt.



  I'm really starting to become content with the idea of being single and being thrown back into the wonderful world of dating. So, like any girl, I threw on my hottest outfit this past weekend and strategically applied my MAC lipstick in the shade Rebel. I set sail out to the bars with my bestie and found myself surrounded by extremely attractive bachelors. Just as I was about to approach one particularly promising specimen, I realized... Oh shit. I forgot how to flirt. I literally had no idea what to do or how to spark up conversation. What the hell has happened to me?!
  Guys, I'm not going to lie to you, I used to have so much game. Just a few years ago I would just walk into a room and breathe and the men would flock. I didn't even have to try. I could have spewed any form of nonsense at them and they would have eaten it up. I even once sang some very off key Taylor Swift karaoke and they were still worshiping the ground I walked on. But it's like once you have a boyfriend, you get this scarlet letter embossed on your forehead and everyone knows to stay away. And then when you become single again after being taken for some time, it's like you need to build your entire empire all over again, from the ground up. It's exhausting.
  How am I supposed to contain my awkwardness long enough to pretend I'm interested in what some random guy has to say? I mean, I can't even order a coffee without them saying "Enjoy your coffee!" and me replying "you too!". I don't even like socializing at parties. I usually just pray that the host or hostess has a dog that I can hang out in the corner with. I just feel like I'm at that point in my life where I don't have the time or patience for nonsense. I don't want to play the game of purposely waiting an hour to respond to a text so I don't seem "too interested" or dealing with the bro's who can't take a hint and blow up my phone obsessively all day long. God help the men who cross my path because my standards are at an all time high, I have 0 tolerance for any bullshit and I'm not interested in anyone who is going to waste my time.
  So, in the age of swiping right or left based solely off of someones looks, how's a girl supposed to find a man with some substance? I guess I should start by changing out of these yoga pants, turning off this Fixer Upper marathon and getting off of the couch. Sigh.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

How to Get Over a Breakup

  Let me start out by saying that there is no magic potion or secret pill that will instantly make you get over your heartbreak.  There is absolutely nothing that can make you feel immediately better and the only thing that will heal you, as cliche as it is, is time.  That's probably not what you want to hear, but it's the cold hard truth.  HOWEVER, fear not brokenhearted people - because there are things you can do to at least help you along the way and speed up the process as much as possible.  After much research and trial and error, these are the things that work for me and I think will work for you too.

1. This Too Shall Pass - One very important thing you need to realize is that this feeling is only temporary.  I know that in the moment, you may feel like that very intense burning sensation in your chest will last forever, but I promise you that over time it will become less and less.  In order to start healing you need to know that there is an end in sight, this isn't the end of the world although it definitely feels like it when it's happening.  I know you're probably thinking things like "My life is over", "I'll never find anyone like them", "I'm going to be alone forever", "I'm going to feel this feeling forever", "I'm never going to get over them" etc. etc. blah blah blah.  TRUST ME, I know,  I, myself thought every single one of those things.  But once you accept the fact that you WILL get over it and you WILL move on, the rest of the process becomes a whole lot easier.

2. No Contact - Do not, I repeat, DO NOT contact your ex.  I don't care how sad you are and how badly you want to speak to them.  I don't care how many Jack and Gingers you sucked down and think calling him is an excellent idea.  Trust me, IT'S NOT.  The very best thing you can do for yourself during a breakup is to cut off all contact with that person.  The more you talk to them and drag it out, the more difficult the entire process is going to be.  Besides, a girl can only be told "I don't want to be with you" so many times.  Do you really want to be told over and over again that someone doesn't want you? No, you don't.  So save yourself the prolonged heartache and make yourself a promise that you will not text, call, Facebook stalk or do any drive by's. Delete them from all social media, delete them from your life. Trust me, you'll thank me. No one needs to see their ex posting photos having a great time when you would much rather picture them crying on their couch, missing you like crazy.

3. Acceptance - You need to accept what has happened.  It is so easy to be in denial about the situation - I know.  You think to yourself, "I can fix this.  I can get him back".  You dissect the entire relationship and put all of the blame on yourself.  You convince yourself that the downfall of the relationship falls solely on everything you did wrong.  One thing you need to realize is that no matter what you did wrong, it takes two people to contribute to the demise of a relationship.  You are both at fault and it is not all about things that you did or didn't do.  Another thing - do you really want someone back who dumped you?  No, you don't.  Because, take it from me, even if you get them back, they'll just dump you again.  You need to realize that the relationship ended for a reason and that even if you got back together, those reasons would still be there and the relationship will eventually fail again.  It's called "breakup" because it's broken.  Once you fully accept that the relationship is done and will not be revived, you are on your way to healing.

4. Talk About It - This.  Talk about how you feel.  Talk about it until you're blue in the face.  Tell your friends over and over how shitty you feel and all of the terrible things he did to you.  You need to get these feelings out in order to fully process them.  If you think your friends are getting annoyed, consider seeing a counselor or therapist.  There is no shame in this.  Whatever you need to do to get all of your feelings out there, do it.  Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you're not crazy and that you're not wrong for the way you're feeling.  After awhile, you're going to become sick of talking about it.  And you won't have anything left to say.  That's when you know you're starting to get over it.

5. Keep Busy - Listen, I know that all you want to do right now is lay in bed with your dog and a bottle of wine and cry about how no one loves you and throw things at your TV when there's a love scene.  And you are totally allowed to do this - but don't make it a habit.  Give yourself a day or two to wallow but after that, you need force yourself, yes FORCE yourself to get out of bed and go do something.  You're going to feel very much like not speaking to anyone and staying in your dungeon of a bedroom but you need to physically pick yourself up, make yourself take a shower, put on a cute outfit, throw on some lipstick and handle your shit.  Make yourself go out with your friends.  Even if the entire time you're out, you don't want to be there.  Go get your buzz on and get hit on.  Fake it til you make it.  Exercise! Going for a daily walk or run can work wonders for a broken heart.  Having any kind of routine will help you immensely, this I promise.  Plus, if you're exercising regularly then you're gonna look and feel like a hot bitch.  Find some new hobbies!  Try and remember what it is that YOU enjoy doing.

6. Date Yourself - I know you're feeling pretty bad about yourself right now.  Your insecurities are probably at an all time high.  Make yourself feel good!  Go get your hair and nails done!  Go get a massage! Go shopping and buy some new outfits! Treat yourself like the princess that you know you are. When we are in relationships we put all of our energy into doing things for the other person.  Our lives revolve around them. We try so hard to make them happy that we often forget to do things for ourselves.  Well, now's your chance!  Do things for yourself.  LOVE yourself.  Whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself, do it.  Take yourself out to dinner.  Buy yourself flowers.  Enjoy sleeping alone and being able to sprawl out across the entire bed.  Date yourself!

7. Meet New People -  There is nothing more refreshing than going out and meeting new people.  It really puts things into perspective and makes you realize that there are SO many people in this world. Surrounding yourself with new people and getting to know them will make you feel so much better.  I'm not necessarily saying go out and meet new guys, but by all means, if that's going to help your cause then do it girlfriend!  But. make new friends!  Sign up for events or classes you wouldn't normally do.  Put yourself out there and open yourself up to new experiences.

8. Figure Out What You Want - As much as breakups suck, there is something beautiful about the end of a relationship.  I know, I know, you're thinking "There is NOTHING beautiful about this mascara running down my face." but hear me out.  You are being handed this golden opportunity.  You get to start over. I know you probably miss your ex and rightfully so, but take this moment to think of all of the things you DIDN'T like about this person and the relationship you had with them.  Make a list.  Reread it daily.  Obviously the relationship wasn't perfect or else it wouldn't have ended.  Use this time to realize what you REALLY want in a person.  This is your chance to be picky!  Raise your standards.  Set yourself up for the most amazing relationship ever.  If you go into something knowing exactly what you want and deserve, you will no longer settle for anything less.

I could go on and on about different things you can do to help yourself heal, but these are my top 8 tips and things that have helped me immensely.  If you make an active effort to do these things daily, then I promise you that you'll get over it a lot sooner than you think.  This isn't the end of the world.  You will feel better.  You will feel more than better.  When this is all over you're going to feel like a whole new person.  More confident and sure of yourself than ever.  Promise.

If you're a reader like me, here are a few books that helped me out and I highly recommend:

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Breakup in a Small Town

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  Sam Hunt really hit the nail on the head with this one.  If you've never heard the song, you are welcome for both the beautiful face you're about to see as well as the lyrical masterpiece you are about to hear:


  I live in a VERY small town.  Everyone knows everyone and that is no exaggeration.  This can make things rather difficult when you date someone from said town and then you breakup.  Suddenly simple tasks, such as driving to work, become a panic attack because every time you see a white truck your stomach drops.  You have to avoid certain parts of town that you wouldn't normally think twice about driving through. Taking the long way to get to places, just to avoid the very real possibility that you would pass this person and feel like shit when they don't acknowledge you.  
  This has always been my town.  I have lived here my entire 27 years of life and now, I can't even go to my favorite townie bar without the fear of "him" walking in.  Oh and I should probably mention that the one time I DID go to said favorite townie bar, I had about 5 different people asking me where he was and why he wasn't with me which was FANTASTIC.  And then you get the occasional person who wants to attempt to talk shit with you about the situation and get you to say bad things about them but I'm not about that life.  Just smile and nod, that's all you can do.  And then you get the types of people who feel bad for you and give you that look like "Oh you poor thing!" And you say - "No, really. I'm fine!"  "Oh but it must be SO HARD!"  I SAID I'M FINE, OK?!
  Probably the worst part about breaking up in a small town, is when you're on your way home and you space out as one does and you catch yourself on your way to "his" house which used to be OUR house but now it's just HIS house again.  Then you have to snap yourself out of it, turn the wheel and keep on keeping on.  Because that's really all we can do.
  

Friday, November 25, 2016

Love is blind.

  A few months ago, if anyone had told me that come November I would be a 27 year old single girl living with my parents again, I would say YEAH RIGHT. That's crazy talk because a few months ago I was in a committed relationship, living with my boyfriend and our two dogs, under the impression we were both equally in love and in it for the long haul.  Well, long story short, I was but he wasn't and so here I am.  BUT ANYWAY.
  A funny thing happens when you're so used to being in a relationship and find yourself suddenly single.  You realize that you don't really know who you are anymore.  You spend so much time and energy trying to make the other person happy that you stop doing things to make yourself happy. You exhume so much energy into making the relationship work and trying to please the other person that you let your own wants and needs fall by the wayside.  So all of a sudden you're alone in your late 20's, laying on your parents futon, wondering how the hell you got here and what to do with all this new free time.
  I found that after the entire ordeal, my eyes were wide open.  I saw relationships in a whole new light and was able to pick myself up, get over it, heal and in the process give my friends some solid advice in their own relationships.  In comes the blog creation.  I've always loved writing and always wanted to start a blog - so I figured what better time than now?  Why not document my ridiculous life of getting my heart broken, healing, finding myself again, dating and finding love again?
  A wise person once told me "You cannot rely on another person for your own happiness."  Really let that sink in.  YOU cannot rely on another person for YOUR OWN happiness.  It's so simple, yet so unbelievably true.